


Tears

by blooming_Ednae



Category: Steins;Gate
Genre: F/M, Tumblr Prompts, still transferring over oops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-08-13 12:01:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20173909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blooming_Ednae/pseuds/blooming_Ednae
Summary: ...finding him was a process well-worth waiting for.(for tumblr prompt request: "cry")





	Tears

**Author's Note:**

> ...I realized that I have yet to still transfer over a majority of my prompts from tumblr, so here's a bit of an older one that I forgot to post here. 
> 
> Requested by two anonymous, for the prompt "Cry". Enjoy!
> 
> "And if you lose yourself,  
I will find you." ~ 'Find You' (Acoustic Version) - Matthew Koma, Miriam Bryant

The first time she saw him cry was when they both met.

She’d never seen him in her whole life; a man, donned in a lab coat in the middle of the summer, standing before her with a subtle confidence. He had a bittersweet smile, looking into her eyes with wonder and relief, and she couldn’t help but feel it, the feeling of familiar happiness.

It was strange, she remembered thinking. Why she stayed for those extra weeks, why she felt the need to see him, and why she felt so suddenly comfortable being in his presence, wanting to reach out to him and know more about him.

As she wondered, it was then that she caught it; a glimmer in his eyes as she took the pin badge, and he stared off in the distance for a moment as he blinked several times before turning to her again, a soft smile on his face.

He didn’t fully cry, but she knew; he wanted to.

The next time she saw him cry was a year and a half later, when she visited Japan spontaneously in the winter for a conference. She was leaving in three days and somehow found herself in the lab at a late hour tinkering with some unknown gadgets he made again, correcting some of the mistakes she noticed right away. He was asleep; not that she minded, but she really did miss the company of having someone to talk to as she problem solved through her experiments. 

She remembered shaking her head and blushing. She wasn’t going to admit  _ that _ aloud. 

As soon as that thought exited her mind, she heard him groaning in his sleep. Turning around, he was in a cold sweat, brows furrowed, and teeth gritted. Just as she stood to wake him up, he suddenly let out a loud yell, his eyes flashing open in shock and fear.

For a moment, she froze, but in the next second, she ran to him, grabbing his hands and automatically soothed him, reminding him of the current day, year, time, and world line. What had happened recently, where he was, and most importantly, answering the one question on his mind:

“Mayuri and I are okay...we’re fine, Okabe.”

She didn’t know how that slipped out of her mouth so quickly; after all, she had only known him for about a year and a half. But his fear, ragged breathing, and shakiness were enough to tell her what he had dreamt of.

He had slowly grasped her hands in his, and shakily, he nodded. He choked a bit and when she looked up at him, a fresh set of tears had begun to run down his face. Whether he knew it or not, Kurisu didn’t know, but she immediately pulled out one of her hands and wiped the tears on one side of his face, caressing his cheeks with soft care; that alone caused the tears to only increase, to her horror, and he immediately apologized, realizing what he had done.

“I-It’s not you, I’m just...I’m just so…”

Without any more words, she pulled him into her embrace and he sank into her arms, burying his head into the crook of her neck while wrapping his arms around her all the same. As she felt the tears flow from him, she could only hold him to comfort him with physical presence, hoping that his worst nightmares would one day diminish.

After that, she saw him cry in small glimpses that took form in her dreams. When he was by Akihabara station and she cheered him up and in the lab right before Daru was about to do something important on his computer. They were intangible and incoherent dreams that felt like experiences lived in another lifetime, as impossible as it sounded. To an extent, she believed they were true, if what Okabe had told her was true; memories of other world lines, she supposed.

She’d wake up from those dreams feeling empty and a bit lost and she’d admit to calling him a few times afterwards to hear his voice. While she’d become frustrated as he’d tease her about ‘wanting to hear the great Mad Scientist’s voice so badly’, she secretly was relieved to hear his voice, reassuring the fears which began to sprout within her heart.

The most recent time she had seen him cry was last week.

She was in pain; actually, the most  _ excruciating _ pain she had ever felt in her whole entire lifetime. She knew it was bad, but  _ this  _ bad? She wished Yuki had told her a bit more about the experience before actually having to go through it all.

As she breathed in and out as evenly as possible, she made a mental note to yell at Okabe once they’d gotten home; he wasn’t the one who had to be on a hospital bed pushing out another human being to be brought into this world. 

It actually pissed her off.

That emotion was what probably pulled her through as she began to push through a bit more stronger, that feeling being felt in her hand as she grasped Okabe’s hand with such a death grip that even he flinched, almost yelling in pain above her shouting.

She side glanced at him with a glare resembling slight anger, and he immediately bit back his yell, letting her take the lead.

After what seemed like a very extensive labor process in her mind, the sound of a cry was heard, and it was enough for her mind to stop thinking about being angry and freezing in the moment.

The crying continued, and before she knew it, through blurry vision as she blinked away the pain, she could see her, small and new to the world. Within a few minutes, she was brought to them, still crying, but with enough power in her small lungs to resonate in her ears and in her heart. 

As Kurisu took her in an embrace, she was in disbelief; did this actually happen? Did nine months fly by so fast? Was this little girl actually her child…?   
  


As the last question floated in her mind, she realized immediately:  _ no. _ She was  _ their _ child.

When she looked up at him who, somehow survived staying by her side the  _ whole time _ (and with a bruised hand, without a doubt), his cheeks were already stained with an evident tear or two. This time, she thought to herself, they were no longer tears of longing and despair, but rather, tears of genuine joy as a new father.

For a moment, she got the chills; she was now a mother, and he, a father. It was a change for the both of them, but something they both had agreed on, knowing that both challenges and delight would be in the future.

Now as she sat in her chair humming a simple tune to their daughter to lull her to sleep, Kurisu heard him come into the room silently so as to not wake her. As he walked up next to her and stared down at the two, she looked up at his presence in question, wondering if he needed anything. Wordlessly, he bent down and placed a light kiss on her lips before pulling away and looking at the sleeping figure.

And this time, she noticed, the tears were no longer there as he smiled.


End file.
